How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
