The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
So here I am, sexting at work.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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