She announced her abortion via fbk
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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