This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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