I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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