You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
whose ass print is on the piano?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
