I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
where are you?
Hypothermia
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize