Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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