My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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