Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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