going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
worst night to have a conscience
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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