I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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