Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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