Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
