me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
