I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
