If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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