i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
