Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
i need some magic done to my vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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