I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
