...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
