Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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