Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
