im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
My vagina is officially offended.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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