He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
