I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
