So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
