I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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