Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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