I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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