We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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