I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
