he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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