He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
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I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
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I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
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