Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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