omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
