I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
