you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
