We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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