Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.