Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You may now shotgun with the bride
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.