Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice