I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
