i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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