im having a threesome with these popsicles
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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