I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
