I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I wish life had little blips of pornography
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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