Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
