Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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