Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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