I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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