I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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