that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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