Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Panties = found
Randomize
