Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
