I could have mohawked her pubes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
