HIV tests are more positive than that guy
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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