His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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