So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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