Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
