don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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