I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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