i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize